On community

I’ve been thinking of the meaning of community recently, and how important it is as a relatively young family unit to be well connected and well supported by people around us. In our family, each of us belongs to several different communities, and not all of them intersect, nevertheless each, in turn, contribute to our foundation and wellbeing as a family.

As I approach my mid life, I notice that I have weaved in and out of different communities over time, through each life stage. Currently, I find myself most aligned with both old and new friends who are travelling alongside us in their own parenting journeys.

Supportive grandparent relationships have also been essential; prior to considering a third pregnancy, my husband and I would joke that we should engage grandparents in contract to remain present and available. No such contract was signed, but fortunately the terms are so far met (with pleasure!)

I recall as a child and adolescent the communities that my own parents were part of. These friendships formed an integral part of our weekend lives. Mostly, community was made in rotating dinners at family friend’s homes; I often spent these evenings with kids who like me were thrown together by our parents’ friendships.

While at times I would have preferred to stay home, I see now that these social connections were vital; if not for me, but for them, as migrant parents in Australia. Parents need other parents to connect with, to reflect and support one another through the at times banal and at times dramatic events that life brings. To be a witness to someone else’s journey and be witnessed in return.

While at times, particularly when feeling burnt out, it can be tempting to have a clear calendar on the weekend, I notice that we are all happier when at least some time has been spent with others outside our family.

In my experience, this doesn’t need to be elaborate; pushing a swing alongside another adult human in a similar stage of their life can feel like perfect contentment.